Descriptive Writing
Description is not a list of everything in a scene. It is a selection of details chosen to make the reader see, hear, feel or understand something specific.
Select, do not inventory
A weak description lists everything in the room. A strong description chooses two or three details that carry the mood, the character or the problem. Ask: what would this character notice, and why? A tired person notices the bed; a frightened person notices the door; a hungry person notices the smell from the kitchen.
The senses
| Sense | Useful questions | Watch out for |
|---|---|---|
| Sight | What is the light doing? What is in focus? | Long lists of colours and objects. |
| Sound | What is loud, quiet, near or absent? | Obvious sound effects. |
| Smell | What does the place smell of? What does it remind the character of? | Overpowering or clichéd smells. |
| Touch | What is the texture, temperature or weight? | Details that do not fit the character's attention. |
| Taste | What is in the mouth? What does it signal? | Forced taste details. |
| Movement | What is still, what is moving, what is about to move? | Describing everything as if it is a photograph. |
Figurative language with a job
Simile, metaphor and personification are useful when they sharpen a perception. A metaphor that only decorates the sentence can be cut. Test it by asking what the comparison makes the reader notice that a literal description would not.
Model paragraph
The following paragraph was written for this packet:
The kitchen had been cleaned for visitors who were not coming. The bench shone, the chairs were pushed in, and the kettle sat cold with its cord wrapped twice around the base. Through the window, the neighbour's dog barked at nothing, then stopped, as if it had remembered there was no one to answer.
The details are selected for absence: the clean bench, the cold kettle, the wrapped cord and the dog that stops. The paragraph does not say the character is lonely. It arranges the scene so the reader feels the loneliness in the objects.
Sentence rhythm
- Use a long sentence to gather detail and slow the pace.
- Use a short sentence to land a realisation or a turn.
- Repeat a structure to create pattern, then break it.
- Read aloud to check where the sentence runs out of breath.
- Cut adjectives that repeat the noun's meaning.
Revision moves
- Underline the details that carry mood. Cut at least one detail that does not.
- Replace one general adjective with a precise noun or verb.
- Find a sentence that lists. Rewrite it around one image.
- Read the paragraph aloud and mark one place for a short sentence.
- Check that the description belongs to a particular observer, not a camera.
Detail is an argument about attention. What a writer chooses to describe tells the reader what matters. Choose the detail that reveals the person seeing it.