Drafting the Campaign

Year 9 HEAP • Persuasion • Drafting

A first draft is a complete attempt, not a polished fragment. It should be possible for someone else to read, watch or hear the whole campaign and tell you what it asks them to think, feel or do.

Message hierarchy

Level	Question	Example
One-sentence message	What must the audience remember?	"Smaller portions mean less waste and more choice."
Three supporting points	Why should they believe it?	Waste data, student feedback, a feasible trial.
Proof	What can they check?	The audit method, dates and counts.
Action	What should they do next?	Choose the smaller option and complete one feedback card.
Objection	What might stop them?	"I'll still be hungry." Answer: a free second serving during the trial.

Every draft element should serve one of these levels. If a sentence serves none, cut it.

Headlines and slogans

Approach	Example	Best for
Direct claim	"Smaller portions. Less waste."	Posters and short posts.
Question	"How much lunch do you throw away?"	Starting a conversation.
Contrast	"More choice, less waste."	Summarising a proposal.
Invitation	"Try the smaller portion for a week."	Low-risk action.
Local detail	"Two bins. One lunchtime."	Making the issue concrete.

A slogan should be short enough to remember, specific enough to mean something and honest enough to survive scrutiny.

Copy for a poster

Element	Job	Limit
Headline	Stop the audience and state the main idea.	About six to ten words.
Subhead	Explain the headline or add the key reason.	One sentence.
Body	Give the evidence and the ask.	Three short points at most.
Call to action	Say exactly what to do and where.	One action.
Credit	Say who made the campaign and how to find out more.	One line or QR code.

Script for a short speech or video

Beat	Purpose	Approximate length
Hook	A concrete detail, question or contrast that earns attention.	10-15 seconds
Problem	What is happening, to whom, and why it matters now.	30 seconds
Evidence	Two or three pieces of proof, explained rather than listed.	45 seconds
Proposal	The specific change and how it would work.	30 seconds
Objection	The strongest reasonable concern and a response.	20 seconds
Call to action	One clear next step.	10 seconds

Storyboard frame

Frame	What the audience sees	What the audience hears	Duration	Purpose
1
2
3
4
5

Drafting in three passes

Pass	Question	What to change
Pass one: argument	Is the claim clear and supported?	Add missing reasons, evidence and a response to the main objection.
Pass two: clarity	Can the audience understand it once?	Cut jargon, shorten sentences and make the order logical.
Pass three: effect	Does it land for this audience in this medium?	Adjust tone, pace, image and emphasis.

Worked draft: canteen poster

Headline: Two bins. One lunchtime.
Subhead: Most of what we throw away is food we chose but could not finish.
Body: Last term, a week-long audit found that the canteen filled two bins with edible food every lunchtime. The main reason was portion size. From Monday, every hot item will be available in a smaller size, and you can ask for a free second serving if you are still hungry.
Call to action: Try the smaller size once this week. Tell us what you think on the canteen board.
Credit: Year 9 HEAP campaign. Evidence and method available from the student office.

The draft is not perfect. The phrase "most of what we throw away" needs the audit figure behind it, and the poster is text-heavy for a noticeboard. Those are problems for the redraft, not reasons to avoid a complete first attempt.

Draft checklist

The audience is named and visible in the choices.
The claim is specific and contestable.
There are at least two distinct reasons.
Every number, quotation and image has a source.
The strongest objection is acknowledged.
The call to action is specific, achievable and ethical.
The draft is complete in one medium.
I can explain every design choice.

Next, improve the draft with redrafting and feedback.